Fatherhood

The Big Hammer

I went to church on Father’s day like so many others and listened to a Father’s Day sermon. It was a well-crafted sermon. The preacher used a small toolbox and related how a father needed some of the qualities of each tool. He explained how a father needs to be level headed as he held up the level. He needed to be able to measure out his love as he held the ruler. He went through every tool in the box and had a message for every tool.
As I sat and listened I naturally thought about working with my Dad. He was a mechanic and I spent my early years working in his outboard motor shop. He was a patient teacher and we worked together well. He would add in a few life lessons along with how metal parts work together as a motor. It was a simple time without things like cell phones or internet so distractions were few. I was blessed.
I inherited my love of unorganized life from my Pop. His work bench looked like a junk pile. Several jobs disassembled at one time and mixed together with broken parts and tools made it look like an impossible task to fix anything. People would look and shake their heads. Organized people would feel so uncomfortable they would leave after a few minutes. I can clean my workbench every morning and before lunch it looks like Pop’s.
My sister is a retired college professor and she explained to me how different people are the way they are. She explained that Pop and I are what researchers call a “random” personality. We don’t plan, we don’t do things the same way and we don’t organize things. We tend to be smart and adaptable. We also tend to drive organized people (called sequentials) to use strong drink and bad language.
In spite of Pop’s disorganized workbench there was something you could find. It was the big hammer. Maybe it was because it wasn’t used that often or maybe just because it was big but it was always there. I don’t exactly how big it was but it was big enough you didn’t use it for a regular hammer. You could tell it was old but it was solid. Pop joked and said it had belonged to George Washington. He would tell this to people and tell them he had replaced the head twice and the handle 6 times but it was still George Washington’s hammer.
I remember working on an outboard motor and having trouble removing the flywheel. Pop had already cautioned me about hitting the shaft with a hammer too hard and swelling the shaft. When I asked Pop what to do he studied the job for a few seconds and said “get the big hammer”. I went in the shop and retrieved it from its place of honor. I remember walking back to the job and wondering what was going to happen. Maybe we were just going to beat the motor apart. This wasn’t the type of hammer used for precision work.
Pop was waiting and took the big hammer when I got back. He put a pry bar under the flywheel and with one soft tap the flywheel was loose. I was surprised. I had already hit it as much as I dared and it hadn’t budged but one tap with big hammer had it loose and it wasn’t damaged.
When I asked Pop how come it had worked so well he had another life lesson. He explained how it wasn’t how hard you hit but how much you had backing you up when you applied yourself to a problem. The other hammer has to hit so hard it damages the part before it makes it move because it is a lightweight but the big hammer has momentum so it only takes a tap.
Like a lot of things he said I understand them better now than I did then back then. I have struggled with many things that would have been easier if I had a big hammer backing me up. Things like making a living are easier if you have a great education backing you up. Getting someone to believe you is easier if you have a reputation for telling the truth. Seems like almost anytime you set out on a task you need something backing you up to give you the momentum to succeed.
When I look around I see other people, businesses and even countries with the same problem. I watch as parents threaten children who scoff because they know they have never been punished before. I see a new business open with wild claims about what they can do with inexperienced employees. Sadly I also watch our leaders as they run for office make promises we know they will never keep. I call it magical thinking. We can borrow money to pay our bills and have enough left over to give money to everybody. If we borrow enough we can buy everything we want and live in paradise. This course of action isn’t backed up by anything but lies and fantasies. We know it won’t work but we want to believe in magic to solve our problems.
As I listened to the preacher’s sermon I thought about how much my Pop was like the big hammer. First he was always there. Not in the way but if I needed him he was close and ready to help me. Second he was a powerful tool. He had the experience of many years work and study backing him up. And third he didn’t overwhelm when I asked him. He could show me how to get it done with without screaming and flailing like a drowning person. He was a great Dad.
When I count my resources I see I have a few big hammers myself. A great family, a lifetime of experience and super friends. But my biggest hammer has to be my faith that it was God who put me here and all my “hammers” are on loan from him. When I have to give them back I want them to be in used condition.