At first you might wonder why 3 John is even in the Bible. It is the shortest book in the New Testament. It is the only New Testament book that doesn’t contain the name Jesus or Christ. It looks to be a personal letter only with little connection to our modern time but careful study proves otherwise.
3 John shows us that problems between Christians have been happening ever since the resurrection. This book was included in the Bible because the message hasn’t changed. Conflict between Christians hurts the church, the members and most of all the unsaved? How can it hurt the unsaved? How many times have you seen someone hesitant about beginning a relationship with Jesus because they have witnessed behavior by Christians that made them turn away. There can not be a larger loss than a human soul lost for eternity that would have found salvation in a church focused on God’s will.
So what is God’s will? Jesus told Paul when he converted him on the road to Damascus. Acts 26-18 “to open their eyes so they may turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God. Then they will receive forgiveness for their sins and be given a place among God’s people, who are set apart by faith in me.”
Sometimes these conflicts escalate into open ugly hostility but most of the time they will be more like a smoldering fire that can go on for years. They will greet each other and smile but there is no smile on the inside. This life style will even spread to their children and affect their lives as they are learning how to handle relationships.
But how do we as Christians handle and resolve the conflicts that arise in our church families? Like most problems it’s fairly easy if you are not one of the parties involved. Probably nothing is easier to solve than other people’s problems but terms like “they just need to get over it”, or “it’s time to move on” or “that’s just silly” never help.
God’s plan for us is a plan of starting over. The wonderful grace of God allows us to start over with a clean slate. We ask for forgiveness and God gives us a completely clean start. It is called being “born again” because at birth we are sinless and have no past. While it will never be possible for us to forgive like God he has equipped us try and follow his example. Through the study of God’s word we can become better Christians and be as the scripture says “known for our love”.
Here are some of the natural things to avoid.
1. The blame game. How long has this been going on? What did Adam say when God asked what he had done? “She made me do it! It’s her fault! You made her so it might be your fault too”. We have to own our part of the problem or it will never be repaired.
2. It’s not right but it makes me happy and God wants me to be happy. Wrong! God will never ask you to sin even once as a path to happiness.
3. “I don’t have to say I’m sorry because I didn’t do anything wrong”. It might be your attitude that is the biggest problem of all. It has been said “attitude is more important than fact” and it is the truth!
4. We want to win. We love winners, we make them heroes and idolize them. Sometimes it might seem like we have to “chose to lose” when we forgive but in reality we are choosing to win a much larger prize.
5. Forgiveness isn’t free. If you truly forgive there will be a cost involved. If there is a debt owed to you either financial or emotional and you release that debt unpaid you must pay the price yourself. God did it for you and the price was high. I never agreed with the people who said salvation is free. A dear price was paid for my salvation!
So how do we transform ourselves into people without all these failings? Obviously we as humans can never accomplish this but as Christians we can and must turn to God for help.
The first step for a Christian will be honest prayer from the heart. Not a reciting of memorized verses but real talking to God. Then with an open and receptive heart we have to listen to God. Then we will need more prayer as we ask God for the courage to do what we know is right. Knowing what is right is a lot easier than doing what is right.
When you talk with any committed Christian they will tell you God will push you out of your “comfort zone” but he will never leave you there. Out of the comfort zone is the “growth zone” for Christians.
I use to have an old man that would come into my shop and sit around. He didn’t say a lot but he listened carefully to all the shop talk and stories. One day he opened his wallet and gave me a small metal cross. He said he had been given the cross by an old man when he was young. He said it was meaningless at first but had become more important the longer it stayed in his wallet. The old man that gave it to him said “Keep this and don’t forget who you are”.
The little cross has been in my wallet 15 years now and it has become more and more valuable. Because every now and then when I’m looking for something I will see the cross and remember who I am. I am an adopted child of God.